On The Airbands

I am pleased to report that lots of inbound mail for this column is in fact penned by Qantas and other airline Captains, and First and Second Officers.

One such correspondent is Second Officer “Jabs” (his old RAAF fighter callsign), who has provided one of the best and most amusing radio exchanges that I have heard for some time. The situation was; Brisbane Ground frequency, with “Jabs” arriving as S/O on the Qantas 28 service. The aircraft, a 747-400 was taxiing to park at Bay 4, while a Qantas 7 4?SP, known to other crews as “Classic”, “Dinosaur”, “Coal Burner”, “Grey Line”, or ”. Analogue Antique” was pushing back from Bay 3. The archaic Brisbane system of single taxiways meant that the SP was requested by Ground Control to push back far enough to allow Qantas 28 to enter Bay 4. Dutifully, the SP crew was pushed back to behind Bay 5 to clear the approach for the arriving-400 aircraft. Now, at this moment in time, the skipper of Qantas 28 begins to turn into his allotted bay a little too early to ensure his longer wingtip clearance from the smaller SP wing that was facing him.

All flightdeck heads were turned SP-ward to ensure nothing touched what it shouldn’t, when the following incredibly funny remark was heard over the radio, the “culprit” most likely being from the crew of the 747SP.

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